It can't. You can't look at the manual for changing a part in a KIA vehicle as guidance for changing a part in a Hummer. Wrong manual. Yet, so many of us go through life being muppets. Having others tell us what to do. Following the dictates of society. So how does someone else tell me how to live my life? They really can't. And to follow it is stupid. You become a muppet.
What ends up is a lot of mistake and anger. First of all, people don't have time to run you life. They barely have time to ran their lives and even then, most are failing at it with some failing miserably just as you are. Others are barely making it. How then can they ran yours successfully? They can't! Ha!
The other thing is that it's like this:
Somewhere on a journey you're lost. You're told my a well-meaning stranger who tells you to turn left on the road and drive till you get to the light. They don't tell you where you're headed. What do you do when you take that unknown road and get to the light? You take a guess there and make a right only to get into a swam 1 mile down the road. You had a map for Road A, but they got you on Road C and now that you're there on Road C, you don't know how to get out of that swamp because you didn't plan that route to begin with. It becomes even harder trying to get out of there. For all you know, there could be gators in that swamp.
Sometimes, just sometimes, they tell you where they want you to end up at but they dont' give you full directions and they are not there to guide you. Therefore following their plan is just a waste of time and energy. For times when you plan to get from A to B but are told by someone to get to D. Ask WHY? Why should you get to D? What reason is given to you? Is it your reason? Why must you change your destination? Will it benefit you? Moreover, why does a person struggling on their won course tell you your destination?
I'll end with a quote by Dr David Seabury:
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel deeply in your spirit as you htik in yhour mind that the counsel is wise.