I was thinking about times when I’ve spent (or should I say wasted?) time doing what I’m call "mental gymnastics". I ponder, think, plan, think again, contemplate and ruminate about how to do something or get through or out of a situation. And I come up with this plan, or that plan, or maybe I should do this or do that now and this later. I spend weeks doing this and stressing about who I’m going to get through or out of the situation, whichever one applies. And then when the time gets there, I realize I had no part to play in getting through or out of that situation. The only part I had in it was simply existing. Because God did it all without a single intervention from me. I didn’t have to put any of my plans into place. I didn’t have to do anything. It simply happened with no input from me whatsoever. And that’s when I’ve said in the past sometimes: “why was I stressing?”
Because they are usually situations I spent days and weeks and sometimes months or over a year worried about it. I spent time thinking “what would I do when this time comes?” Sometimes, it’s been a matter of getting out of an unpleasant situation. And in two good instances I recall very well, instances where I thought of what to say to the person to get out of their lives without them trying to hold onto me or guilt me from leaving, They have removed themselves. I’m not kidding. They removed themselves and the good thing is that because I had been thinking for weeks or months about how to get them out of my life, I am usually so grateful that I keep it that way. Now the irony is that when they’ve been gone for months and realized that I wasn’t coming after them, they try to come back. They may stalk in some way or form. They may try to reach out via phone, text, or whatever means. Little did they realize that not only where they not important in my life, I was trying to get rid of them and they simply helped me. In one situation, I changed my phone numbers months later. If you were in my life when I got the new number, you would know. You were gone. Good riddance!
But the instances in my life haven’t been only a matter of toxic personalities I needed out of my life; it has also been a matter of situations where I wondered how I was going to deal with it when I got there.” I think I’ll borrow this and do that, and ask so and so for this”. “I think I’ll do this and that and hopefully that works”. “I think I will tell so and so to tell them this and make a request on my behalf”. And the list goes on and on. We spend time ruminating about how to handle a situation. And sometimes, it is a situations that is coming at us or it’s something we feel led to do but are not sure how we are going to handle certain obstacles along the route. O Christian! Do you not have the LORD as your God? Is the God of Providence unable to provide for you? Is there a reason why we think he can’t provide for us?
I don’t think we think that God is unable to provide or won’t provide. I think, for me, I forget. I forget that I am not alone. I forget that God is with me and is guiding me and helping me. I forget the times and when he has helped me in the past. Or I see this situation as different and too big. But then again, I am very well aware that there is nothing God cannot do. Even the sea that has swallowed ships and people, he has command over. So I think that a lot of times, it’s forgetful and not factoring God in the situation. And God isn’t a mathematical constant to factor into a situation. Nevertheless, He is a constant presence in our lives and we need to acknowledge him.
So, I have been wondering about how to deal with a situation over the last few days. I have thought of ways and tried to come up with plans as I fact in variables and analyze the probabilities. I’ve thought of different things and still don’t have an exact plan as to what I’m going to do or how I’m going to handle the situation. While looking at something online earlier, I saw something regarding this situation and it brought something else to mind. That I had not considered a very likely scenario that requires no intervention on my part. And that was when I remembered that God is able to work things out so that it simply works in our favor just as we had wanted, without any intervention from us. And so I started to feel that it can happen in this situation and it looks really like it. So that I realize it’s worth focusing on now and living, rather than trying to figure out what to do months from now. Because God is extremely capable of handling it. This is the case of wanting the milk I need in May at the beginning of January. Dear Child, it’s not even April. “Give us this day our daily bread”. Let us stop the mental gymnastics and focus on today. When we get to that day, we can trust the God of Providence to give us all that we need that day.
Here's night update: I found out that the situation I was stressing over isn't one to stress over. I got some information this evening and realized that it's all going to work out even better than I had hoped. And here I was stressing earlier and thinking over the last few days about how to make things work out. And so Psalm 46:10 dawned on me while taking a rest tonight:
"Cease striving and know that I am God"
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