Hope and Denial pt 2.

So what is the difference between hope and denial? I don't think I've any qualifications to distinguish the two so these are based on my personal experience, thoughts and assumptions.

Some people buy a frog hoping it will turn into a princess. I buy a princess knowing it will turn into a frog.

This is a theme inherent in investing but I think it applies to other life situation. A person buys a bad stock, something that's dropping massively, the aim is that they catch it at the bottom and see it revert and skyrocket. What ends up happening is they catch a falling knife and it rips them. The story of the princess and the frog. You want dust to turn to gold. Ironically, DUST is a Direxxion bear for miners. It's a ticker related to gold...ha ha.

The thing is to buy a good stock knowing that eventually, it will pay off with good dividends, appreciation etc. I can give multiple examples in both cases. But still, people patronize these stocks. Stocks you know are going to be delisted, reverse split after reverse split. I've personally seen the reverse splits as a good chance to short. It's a frog, it'll stay a frog...unless that magic happens when it turns into a princess and how often does that happen? Exactly.

I'm quick to cut my losses. Doing that was helped me to hit 12%+ of that portfolio earlier this year. Does that mean you need to cut your losses quickly all the time? it depends. Are you buying SPY at 180? What do you do at 160? This is a very situation and I'm not giving investment advise here so this should not be considered as one. There are many factors and there's a difference between trading and investing.

I just noticed the same situation applies to real life. Taking a bad situation and hoping to make the best of it. In my investsments, I'd cut it short if i wasn't getting a return.  A lot of times, we put up with hell, hoping it would turn into earth or perhaps heaven. We suffer and suffer and yet we continue to hope and hope? Again how long do we put up with hell till we decide enough is enough when we have the power leave?

I've seen people endure abusive marriages, relationships, other hellish situations and yet, they hope. OR are they in denial? Are they failing to see the situation for what it is. Is acknowledging it as a bad situation but hoping things would change also a form of denial? Denial of the fact that certain things might not change? You CAN teach an old dog new tricks If it's willing to learn. That's something I've learned this year.

The problem is that we finally discover our hope has actually been denial disguised as hope? We are still unable to break free? Why? I think psychology plays a part here. The fear

• That perhaps we are giving up too early, 
• Of guilt, that we are not doing enough to effect change (guilt is a very great instrument the enemy uses)
• That this may be our portion (pure nonsense. Another lie the enemy tells. I've come to realize God does not put his children through hell here on earth.) If you think it is your portion, pray and ask God to change it. He can... Jabez did, Hezekiah prayed and effected change.
• Maybe it's me...maybe I'm the problem. Need a I say more...Another lie. The enemy likes a confused mind for several reasons. One being that they can't think and make decisions.
• One more day, week, month, year. Telling ourselves to hold on a little longer, maybe the situation needs more time to change. Or perhaps others have told you this silly lie, oh, just bear a little longer and you'll get there. I like my two bears - bear and forbea r- but wise judgement is needed in this case.
• Fear that things might turn just when we give up. You want to be there when the change happens. You want others to say oh, such and such helped the change. Or it's a stock you bought at $10, seeing it sit at $2 for a year and finally, FDA news comes out and you're bragging now when it's at $20 because you held on and didn't give up. Same applies in life. The question I ask here is motive? Is the motive really holding on and hoping you can recoup your investment or where you waiting for bragging rights? The ability to boast and say "hey, it paid off finally"? I'm not necessarily condemning but what is your opportunity cost? Could you have invested in something else by cutting your losses early and moving on to other things? And here's another alternative for you: Maybe, you're not the one to effect the change. I have a song by Greg Long that says if it takes 15 times to hear about Jesus, for someone to be believe.... you could be the first, the fifth, there may be years in between but what if you're not fifteen? 

I know it's not as easy as I make it sound. I struggle myself. When do I give up and fold? What if I'm making the wrong choice. What if all the choices I listed above?  What if I'm being impatient? What if I'm not bearing and forbearing as I should? What if....?

Well we don't know, do we? Ours is to make the right decision. What if it's not the right decision? Examine things carefully....This is another blog on it's own - decisions.

So is there a much of a difference between hope and denial or do our hope sometimes turn into denial? Or was it denial all along masquerading as hope?

Hope and Denial

"Denial is not a river in Egypt" - Anonymous on stocktwits.

Lately I have wondered about these two: Hope and Denial.
I had a patient at the clinic I volunteer at a few years ago, she was much older. I've done multiple pregnancy tests and had never had one turn out positive till that day. Unsure if I'd done something wrong, I repeated it. Then I turned to her and asked her if she thought she was pregnant. Her response was "I hope not." I went to the Medical director and relayed the info to her. Her response was "Hope is a very poor form of birth control." However she went on to say, this might be a good thing for her. Lady was closer to 50. She was uninsured hence her presence at this clinic which is the best clinic I've ever been at. Much better service that I got from other places as an insured person. Anyway, the director pointed out she'll now qualify for state care for a few years with the baby among other things. I doubt the lady really wanted that.

Anyway, in regards to a situation I'd dealing with, I've had to ask myself how much longer will I put up with hell till I say enough? I took someone in taking care of them, hoping that living with me would help the situation, they might revert to who they were and function. The sad truth is that nothing has changed in that arena. I acually think it's either the same or it has worsened. What has also worsened here is me - my health! about 5 months into this, I said, this is not working...I saw it wasn't working. I wanted to deal with the situation as fast as I could. Problem is I was indecisive, controlled by fear, the unknown and the voice of people telling me this is what you're supposed to do. In short, I did not think and put my foot down on a firm decision. It's cost me a lot 2.5years later.

But over the entire time, there have been many, many, MANY times where I've said, this is it, I need to fold and yet, I pray and hope that things might change. That if I try harder, my efforts would show something. The other part is failure. Not having failed at anything, I look and see that I've not made any progress with this, besides better physical health, but nothing on the mental part and in comes the third reason: fearing the eyes of man more than the eyes of God. I know better but sometimes I unconsciously give in. But it's what people would say, that I took a bad situation to help and couldn't effect any significant change. So I hold on, working hard, to my detriment, and hoping that things would change.

Is this hope or denial? Is there a line between the two?  Denial is knowing something for what it is and failing to acknowledge it for what it is. Kinda like the ostrich in the african desert, it sees the car coming and puts it's head in the sand thinking it's not there. Hope is also knowing something for what it is and expecting something else. Kinda like the ostrich in the sand, same situation. I just looked up the definition of hope in Webster online: to want something to happen or be true and think that it could happen or be true" . Dictionary.com defines denial as "Denial definition, an assertion that something said, believed, alleged, etc., is false" I was close. So whether it's putting your head in the sand telling yourself a car isn't coming at you at full speed or telling yourself by putting your head in the sand the car is not there and you won't be hit, the underlying action is the same in both cases - we ignore the problem for what it is.

So back to square one? Is hope and denial really different? are they different shades of blue? Or are they one and the same with just different names. Someone might think, 'wait, you just gave two different definitions there, how can you ask if they're the same." Well, with hope, we want something to be true, it's not true but we want it to be so. In denial it's not true and we say it is true. In both cases, they are not true. No son verdades! If you look at the ostrich though, they're really the same. But inherently, I think they are different with a fine line between.

I'll end here and continue some other time.

What a friend we have in Jesus

Not sure why this song popped into my head today. I'm not going to dissect the lyrics.
However, one thing I've noticed is this:
People aren't there for you always. They are human. Even if they can be there when you need them, there's a chance something could be in the way. They might be sick themselves, in a meeting and unable to pick up a call, working and unavailable, I could go on and on and on. You've also gotta realize that they have their own issues. Do they have your best at heart? Umm... Will they die for you? There, the answer is much easier when asked this way right?

The other thing is this: God is always available and He has your best at heart. Have you ever Knelt in prayer and as soon as you say "Dear God..." you heard "not now, I'm busy"?

Why we turn to man instead of God? that's a mystery to me right now.